I'm sorry if that makes you cringe. Whether you'd rather call it Singles Awareness Day, or if you're a true fan of cupid and his arrow, this blog post is for you. It doesn't matter if you've never dated, or if you're married, divorced, or with the love of your life. This is for everyone. And you'll make my day if you read it.
Nearly everyday when I log into Facebook I see some re-posted list.
The 12 Signs Being Ladylike Isn't Your Forte. 22 Strange Animals You Probably Didn't Know Exist. 15 Reasons Cousins Make The Best Friends.
Yeah, I'm not sure there's anything they haven't made a list for. So here's mine. Promise me you'll at least read it before you make any judgments, okay?
12 Signs He's The One For You, Even If You Haven't Met Him Yet.
1. He loves you. Okay, so that's pretty obvious. Albeit important. What would your relationship be without love?
2. He wants to spend time with you and yearns to be reunited with you when you're apart. Relationships grow by spending quality time together. If he doesn't want to spend time with you, something tells me it's not going to work out.
3. He knows your quirks, flaws, and sees the beauty in them. We're all a little strange. It would get really annoying if you had to pretend to be someone else just to please the guy next door (even if he does have nice abs).
4. He never stops pursuing you, no matter how long it's been. Is there anything more cute than that old couple that is so in love their actions seem like they fell in love just yesterday?
5. He encourages you and is as excited about your dreams as you are. Let's face it. Forcing women to be the perfect housewife ended years ago. Unless that is your dream, in which case he needs to respect that.
6. He comforts you and holds your tears in his hands. Sure, tough guys have a certain appeal. But someone needs to hold you when life isn't going the way you planned, and it doesn't mean anything if it's forced.
7. He makes you happy. This is another obvious one. You only live once; there's no point in being with someone that makes you miserable.
8. He isn't ashamed of who you are or disappointed in anything you've done. Is there anything worse than that guy that pretends not to have feelings for you when he's with his friends, or in some other context where he's ashamed to be yours?
9. He is faithful. This is pretty basic, yet so many people seem to overlook it when choosing their mate. If you alone aren't enough for him, find someone who thinks you are.
10. He knows you're worthwhile. A bit of a reiteration of many of the other points, but still important. If he doesn't think you're worth some sacrifice, then he isn't worth your time.
11. He never makes you journey through life alone. What is that saying....If he can't handle you in sweatpants, he doesn't deserve you in a wedding dress? When it gets hard, the one who loves you will stay.
The twelfth point's a little different.
12. He died for you on a cross.
The explanation for this one's a little different, too. And it makes you rethink the explanations for the previous 11 points, although the points themselves remain true. If the one your seeking's love for you isn't so vast and unending that He died to cover you for your sins, I'm here to tell you you're missing out on the most fulfilling relationship you can ever have.
I say this from experience. I say this from a part of my heart that is broken, still recovering from a seriously committed relationship that wasn't seeking after the One who was murdered on a cross for the sake of my salvation (and yours). No matter what you've done, or what you have special planned for Valentine's day, or what you do every weekend, or what you haven't even thought about doing yet but might do, Jesus loves you as if you've never sinned at all.
Don't give up on this yet.
Our souls crave intimacy. It makes sense; if we didn't crave intimacy, we would cease to exist as a species in a quick second. But the real intimacy our souls crave, the only intimacy that can completely fill us, is the intimacy of the relationship we are all designed to have with the Creator of our very souls. This, too, makes sense. The One who made us knows what makes us satisfied, and quite sensibly He made it Himself.
My soul craves intimacy. So often my soul wants it on this earth, right now (what in our culture isn't immediate at this point, anyways?). In friendships, in relationships, in virtually everything but with Jesus, I search for intimacy. But none of these places can fulfill my entire need, and it can't fill yours either, no matter how great whatever you have going is (unless of course that is Jesus).
In the spirit of Valentine's day, I was contemplating the fact that the church (believers in Christ) are the bride of Christ. This is a pretty dramatic statement. It doesn't seem exactly natural to me to be married to Jesus, but the Bible makes it pretty clear. Just for one example, I give you Revelations 19:7. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and his Bride has made herself ready.
If you believe in God and have trusted Jesus as your Savior, you are His bride. So what does that mean for us? To be honest, I'm not completely sure. But picture this: the intimacy you have or have had or will have with someone here? That is simply a reflection of the intimacy we are called to have with Christ. Marriage, although it has many purposes, is most purposed in its ability to show us the relationship we need with Christ to ever be entirely satisfied.
So what does that mean with our earthly relationships? Obviously, we have to have them. But unless your relationship is seeking Christ first, I promise you you're missing out on the greatest joy you can ever know. What I mean is this. No greater intimacy than that of a relationship with Christ can be found on this earth, and nothing can satisfy you nearly as much as this relationship. No, that doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue relationships here. You should, if that's what God has planned for you. But if both of your hearts aren't lost in God (and you're relationship is built off that) you are robbing yourself of what you were made to have, what you were made to be a part of.
Some of you are doubting that you can have this intimacy with Christ. The devil is in your face, telling you that you've already done way more than God could possibly forgive, or that what you're doing isn't really wrong (even though you feel guilty about it) or that even though you haven't done anything seriously wrong, this intimacy just isn't something you can have. It's for people like me, or your best friend, or no one. Still some of you are so satisfied with your current relationship you don't think you need anything more; but I speak from experience. Eventually everything of this earth will fade away, and your heart will be left wanting more.
I cast these lies out, in Jesus' holy name. If any of those thoughts, or other thoughts came to your mind, I encourage you to email me as I would love to tell you more about finding the truest joy there is. I promise you, if God could forgive me and yearns to have an intimate relationship with me, there is nothing you could have done or could do that would make Him not want that with you.
I want to rehash the above points, from God's perspective. But for those of you who were curious about earthly relationship advice, all I have for you is this:
Seek first His Kingdom (Matthew 6:33). If you seek intimacy with Him, oh how much He will bless you, and your relationships on earth!
Now for a fresh look at the above things about God's character.
The 12 Signs He's the One for You (and that you can trust that He is) ((Even if you haven't met Him yet))
1. He loves you. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8. No matter who you are or what you've done, He loves you. And He doesn't just say He does, He went so far as to prove it with Jesus' death on the cross.
2. He wants to spend time with you and yearns to be reunited with you when you're apart. For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they will be my people. 2 Corinthians 6:16. God has made His home in us. How crazy is that? How much He wants to spend time with us, and how dearly it breaks His heart when we are astray that He rejoices over our return! (Luke 15).
3. He knows your quirks, flaws, and sees the beauty in them. So God created man in his own image. Genesis 1:27. God sees nothing but His blameless son, Jesus, when He looks at His children that have accepted Jesus as their Savior. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. God encourages us to boast about our weaknesses, not hide them.
4. He never stops pursuing you, no matter how long it's been. I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39. God is always running after you, no matter how far you've strayed.
5. He encourages you and is as excited about your dreams as you are. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12. The Bible is God's encouragement for us, and God loves to dream through us.
6. He comforts you and holds your tears in his hands. You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8. God sees your pain; He sees your suffering. His heart breaks for you.
7. He makes you happy. The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy. Psalm 65:8. There is literally nothing comparable to the joy found in Jesus Christ.
8. He isn't ashamed of who you are or disappointed in anything you've done. God knows you and He knew your sin even before you did; and He chose you anyways. There is nothing you can do that would make him disappointed, as you're already blameless in His sight. Psalm 139.
9. He is faithful. For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. Psalm 33:4.
10. He knows you're worthwhile. Seriously, though! I wouldn't die for just anyone. Of anyone you'll ever have the chance to have a relationship with, Jesus has already proven you are of worth more than anyone could possibly do here.
11. He never makes you journey through life alone. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8.
12. He died for you on a cross. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13. Jesus paid the ultimate price to restore the relationship the Creator wants to have with us. He sacrificed his life and took all of God's wrath for the sin of mankind on His shoulders, even though Jesus was completely blameless, free of sin.
Jesus is the one for you, because you were the one He died for on the cross.
Accepting this love, allowing Christ to bring me near to Him even though I once was far, has changed everything about my life, and I really do encourage you to talk to me if you want that change for your life. Or, if you already have this love, may God continue to bless you dearly.
Jesus' love for children, including the precious children that have cancer, shines through Tying Up Cancer. If it's on your heart today to give hope to pediatric cancer patients, you can always purchase a bracelet for yourself, a friend, or a patient.
And may the love of God invade every day of your year, not just Valentine's day.